“Anger is one letter short of danger! ”
Anger Management … Is anger affecting you, your health, your relationships or your work environment? Do you perhaps react like this?
“He who angers you, conquers you.”
Anger is a strong emotion, and although a natural feeling experienced by humans, the effects are most often unpleasant. Anger is a natural response to any trauma, grief or loss. To gain insight and understanding of the anger you’re possibly experiencing, I recommend reviewing the explanation on this website of Stages of Loss.
Anger can also be triggered as a result of unresolved fears, insecurities or emotional hurts, be these real or perceived: an internal reaction that is perceived to have an external cause.
Most angry people usually blame or justify their angry arousal or reactions on someone, or an event rather than acknowledging they have an irrational expectation or perception of reality i.e. a result of ‘what has happened to them’. Angry outbursts can also be as a result of trying to impose control over people or situations ‘it has to be done my way’ or ‘its my way or no way’. And, if these situations don’t unfold the way they expect, they become angry.
All too often anger, especially in its strongest forms, impairs one’s ability to process information thus an angry person may loose their objectivity, discretion, empathy or thoughtfulness, and may therefore cause harm to others, hence the term ‘blind rage’. Distinction should be made between anger and aggression whether verbal or physical (direct or indirect) even though these two emotions usually influence, aggravate or intensify each other.
Anger is a form of reaction or response enabling people to deal with threats. Indeed, anger may be necessary for survival and through a triggered ‘fight-or-flight’ response this could be expressed either passively or aggressively. Passive ‘flight’ response is repression and denial of anger for safety purposes. While ‘fight’ response is associated with aggressive behaviour, and the use of verbal or physical power of anger to abuse and hurt others.
Anger, rage or wrath can also be described as excessive and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. These feelings can manifest in different ways including impatience, annoyance, fury, revenge and vigilantism. Anger in its purest form presents with self destructiveness, violence and hate, which may provoke animosity for years or decades, often persisting long after the person who caused a grievous wrong is dead! Mahatma Gandhi said “It takes ten generations for healing to become real. Given time, we will end the demand of, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,’ fearing that the whole world may wind up blind and toothless…“
Anger may be viewed as an uncivilised or immature response to threats, loss, grief, denial, frustration or violation but conversely keeping this anger ‘bottle up’ isn’t healthy either. Likewise, remaining calm under provocation maybe admirable but this conditioning or ‘denial’ could result in an inappropriate expression of uncontrolled outbursts of repressed feelings or misdirected anger. A more appropriate response would be to address the provocation or situation immediately, yet some avoid conflict for fear of the consequences. This inability to react appropriately fuels repressed anger. Consequently, ‘bottled up’ anger can lead to persistent negative or destructive thoughts such as self criticism, blame, and guilt, and in extreme cases physical conditions, nightmares or even violent actions. Unresolved anger may aggravate or cause depression, and also fuels feelings of prejudice, jealousy, paranoia even in ordinary every day situations. Displays of anger can be used as manipulation.
On a positive note, anger is one of our most primitive defence mechanisms that protects us and so can be a beneficial or constructive emotion. Anger can motivate, give strength or courage thus preventing us from being dominated or manipulated by others. Potentially anger mobilises psychological resources bolstering determination towards achieving a desired objective i.e. correcting an injustice or addressing grievances, communication of negative sentiments, protecting loved ones etc. Anger supplies vital energy and impetus, therefore is not always negative.
Physical side effects of Anger:
Apart from psychological effects there are some physical side effects too. Frequent angry outbursts may put your health at risk, so too will suppressed, ‘bottled up’ or unresolved anger. Although physical responses vary from person to person, some well documented symptoms include increased heart rate, blood pressure, chest pains, severe headaches or migraines, indigestion, ulcers, body temperature changes (flushing or sweating), fists clenching, teeth grinding, prickly sensations or numbness and muscular tensions.
Chemicals like adrenaline and noradrenaline surge through the body, and if the nervous system is constantly overexerted this could lead to a weakened heart, stiffer arteries, and the risk of a heart attack or stroke increases. There is also potential for liver and kidney damage as well as high cholesterol. It has been discovered that people eat too much when they get angry: weight gain or obesity may result. Some scientists think that chronic anger may be more dangerous than smoking and obesity as a factor that will contribute to early death. Depression, anxiety or panic attacks may also occur as a result of unresolved anger.
Using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to resolve anger:
Anger Management: releasing anger is essential and key for a healthy mind and body, relaxed lifestyle and improved relationships. Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), also known simply as ‘tapping’, is a stress release technique that effectively aids the release of the root cause or source of anger, either present or historic events i.e. trauma, childhood, abusive relationships, unfulfilled potential etc.
EFT effortlessly yields inner peace and wisdom from even the most heinous of situations. To quote a client who resolved her anger issues: “EFT has been a life saving gift, and as a result I now feel a deep all pervading peace; it has been liberating. Thank you so much for helping me!”
You don’t need to struggle with your
anger any longer …
If you are suffering the consequences of UNRESOLVED ANGER or resentment, jealousy, guilt, remorse, shame etc, and wish to find an effective, gentle and peaceful resolution, talk to someone. Book a consultation with me here.
What Clients Say?
“I have to recommend this service to all. I was a Cargo Manager at the Johannesburg International Airport, where in the early hours of the morning my staff fell victim to an armed robbery. They were very traumatized and one had to be admitted to hospital after being assaulted by one of the perpetrators. I got in touch with Bridget who came to give counselling to the staff. she was great and the feedback from her and the staff was amazing. It wasn't costly and did not require a follow up session as the staff were in a good space after the first session. If you find yourself or your staff in need of counselling, don't hesitate to contact Bridget.”
“A few years ago I was really struggling with public speaking fears - I know this is career limiting but couldn't help myself. My fears, anxiety and the stress really got the better of me one evening at an event. Bridget saw my distress, and offered to help. I couldn't believe how quickly she helped, within minutes I felt absolutely calm and relaxed. I've subsequently delivered many presentations with ease, even enjoying it. I MC'd my friend's wedding with ease too. I highly recommend Bridget to help you overcome your fears and phobias - she's excellent.”
“Bridget is sharply observant of the source of one's stresses and strains and is immensely enthusiastic and motivational in helping one deal with challenges in all arenas of life. So glad she is a consultation away #gratitude.”
“Bridget was my life line when I was going through a very difficult time in my life. The anti stress techniques she taught me were invaluable and she was a text away anytime i needed her. I’m so grateful to know I have you on speed dial.”
“I could have never imagined that a powerful tool like this existed. From one session, I had a life changing experience where anxiety, stress and fear was a normal part of my daily routine to a clam clear and collected way of conducting my day. Even more amazing was that EFT was not a temporary solution but a lasting feeling that I still have a week later. EFT has empowered me to take control of so many aspects of my life with confidence and make life so much more enjoyable!”
“Hi Bridget, all is indeed well on my side – thanks to you! I still tap and my baby actually reacts to my tapping now! It’s so amazing and I am so grateful to have made the choice to keep him despite the turmoil in my life. I have amazing friends who support me and I am so excited for my son’s birth on 15 September. Will send you a picture as soon as I can OK? Take care and once again, thank you for calming the waters for me. Lots of love”
“This message serves to say THANK YOU for contributing in my success as a person. You've made me aware of the things I was not aware of. Since then I use some of your principles in my life on a daily basis. You've also answered some of my long awaiting questions in life and I really appreciate it. Be blessed and I thank you.”
“My life got turned around in one afternoon, it’s as if you cleared years of blockages in one sitting, and I can be sceptical of certain alternative healing methods. I still can’t believe that such a simple, non invasive healing can have such dramatic results. I can’t wait to tap again with you and see what else I have been burying deep inside my stubborn brain … if only everyone knew about this! Best wishes.”
“Thank you so much for the session I had with you. It did wonders for me. It helped me get past my fear of public speaking to a point where I actually enjoy standing up there now. I still get a bit nervous, and then I do some tapping and it helps tremendously. Thanks again.”
“EFT is all about letting go. We destroy our present and our future by nurturing our personal traumas - whatever they may be. Sometimes what we thought was the problem isn’t - Bridget helped me to ‘sort’ through the self imposed fog I found myself in. I went to see her once and the result was immediate and life changing. I learnt to be objective and distance myself and see my value and move into my true space. THANK YOU Bridget XXX (You DID change my life Bridget. So grateful. Want you to help lots more people).”
“Being in the complimentary health profession myself, I have come to recognise the importance of releasing emotional ‘baggage’ that keeps us from being whole. The Emotional Freedom Technique helped me to shift some deep-seated behavioural patterns that I was oblivious to as it had become so much a part of who I was. Bridget has a keen sense of guiding the process to those deep layers that we keep hidden from ourselves and she does this gently and with a great deal of compassion. What I found so beneficial is that once the emotion was revealed, it was not necessary to spend days picking at old wounds like one would do in conventional therapy. Instead I acknowledged the emotion and then moved on swiftly and elegantly without having to dwell on all the unpleasantness. I would recommend EFT to anyone who wishes to expand their consciousness.”
“I have suffered from depression and been on medication for many years (since about 1990). I have always wanted to get off the medication because of the many side effects. This seemed impossible until I met Bridget and learnt about EFT. One session gave me the tools to work with EFT and enabled me to get through difficult times. I am now no longer on medication! I use EFT when troubled and find that within a few minutes I am once again able to cope. And it really works!!!! My thanks to you.”
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Clients Bridget has worked with